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To this day I've never seen him around children but there's something about the way he carries himself, and that same thing missing in his eyes that was missing in my dad's. For example, when I started dating my partner a decade ago, he had a very good friend who after a couple of meetings I just *knew* was a predator. I don't think I could give you a reliable list of things to look for because it really is just a keen feeling, a sensation I get based on the tiniest little signals I get from someone. Hi, this is Renee! So, your question is a really tough one to answer because the 'detection skills' I've developed are much less empirical and much more intuitive. To cut out the bullshit with reckless abandon, to be happy, to help people all the time…that's my focus. My only job in this life is to make every day count. It's sick, and dangerous, and awful, but he is what he is. I know that sounds crazy, but he is very mentally ill and he is in fact, operating the best way that his brain knows how. Both of my parents are just people operating in the world the best way they know how – yes…including my dad. You aren't doomed to be a certain way because of what your parents did. Your parents actions are not a reflection of you. *Especially* if you are a financially independent adult.
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We get SOOO caught up in our society around these myths of familial relationships, but the truth is no matter WHO your family is made up of and no matter what you must endure, every day that you wake up you get to choose how the story goes. Allie thanks for your comment and I think you make a very important point – that our parents choices have little to do with the person that we are and the possibilities available to us in life.